30 years of Penhaligon’s Friends: Bereaved families in Cornwall describe early grief support as a ‘lifeline’

Bereaved children in Cornwall say early grief support has helped ‘shape who they are today’.

The Cornwall-based charity reveals it has supported 13,291 children and young people across the county since it was formed in 1995.

As the charity reflects on three decades of support, it is sharing stories from young adults who say accessing grief support early in life was a ‘lifeline’.

Rebecca, who lost her dad when she was six years old, said: “In 2007, my dad died very suddenly from a very rare and undetected illness. I was deeply traumatised and when I returned to school, I felt angry and upset with life. My school contacted Penhaligon’s Friends with my mum’s consent. They gave me support and guidance with care and compassion when I needed it the most, allowing me to talk about my feelings.”

The charity was formed 30 years ago after a bereavement forum of organisations working with children identified the lack of child-centred bereavement services in Cornwall. Penhaligon’s Friends was created to address this gap and ensure children and young people under 18 receive the right support.

Rebecca, now 25, works as a teacher.

 “Penhaligon’s Friends enabled me to process my grief and channel my feelings in a positive direction. Because of the timely involvement the charity played in my early life, I am now able to empathise with my own students who find themselves in similar circumstances.”

Julie, Rebecca’s Mum, added: “Penhaligon’s Friends not only gave my young daughter huge support in 2007 at our time of greatest need but also offered me compassion and empathy. The positive impact of the help given to us both by Penhaligon’s Friends remains to this day, every Christmas Rebecca hangs the decoration that she made with them as a memory keepsake of her dad.”

Penhaligon’s Friends has seen a growing demand over the years and has supported 1104 children and young people across Cornwall during 2024/25. In the past year, 64 children and young people were referred to the charity following a bereavement by suspected suicide.

Jordana, now 25, who lost her dad when she was 14, says support as a teenager helped her understand and process complex emotions around grief:

“It’s such a strange process losing someone by suicide. You’re both upset that you’ve lost someone you’ve loved but you’re also angry. I realised it’s OK to be angry, the anger was part of me coming to terms with what happened. I walked into Penhaligon’s Friends and it was immediate friendliness. It taught me to be open and to not be scared to be open.

“By being at Penhaligon’s Friends, I was supported in the right way so I knew how I could support others.”

The charity supports children and young people at any point in their grief journey, with some young people experiencing support immediately after, and others getting support later in childhood.

Julie Parker, CEO of Penhaligon’s Friends, said: “Since 1995, we have provided crucial support, advice and guidance to thousands of Cornish children and young people as they navigate a challenging time in their lives. We’re proud to walk alongside them for however long they need us.

“We are honoured to tell powerful stories from brave young adults and would like to invite anyone else who has been supported by Penhaligon’s Friends in the past to share their stories with us. Hearing feedback from young people helps us shape our support for years to come and make sure families are supported in the best way for them.”

Penhaligon’s Friends supports children, young people and their families living in Cornwall when they need it and in a way that’s right for them, through telephone information and advice, home visits, family visits, memory days, support groups, training, school support and one-to-one work.

If you have had support from Penhaligon’s Friends and would like to share your story, please contact us on enquiries@penhaligonsfriends.org.uk